I am 36 years old. I am not confident enough. I have ideas, I am scared to express them. I am scared to act. I am scared to start doing what I want to do and solve problems. I can’t even share my ideas with the people I love. How will they receive my suggestions? Will this show how dumb I am? Will my ideas work? Will I be able to do them? What if I fail? Do I have what it takes to do it? Oh Lord, no, let me die with my ides.
I was born in a small town. My family and the rest of the community used to worship ‘A’ students. If you are not doing well in school – you are just another pain. I used to do well, though not all the time. The times I got A’s. I was happy – but still, I couldn’t do anything for my family. I realized even if I got an A in geography, my family wouldn’t ask for my ideas when we needed money to pay the hospital bills, probably would ask me about the capital city of Colombia and laugh about it when I get it right, or wrong. They would simply ask me to remain in school and bring them a degree. My ‘A’ couldn’t solve my community problems even after 20 years of age.
I started DJ’ing way back when I was in primary school but I never thought I was good at it. I started putting together magazines and hosting events way back in secondary school, but all that time – I never thought I was good, well the community would look at me funny – why do I even do those things? I need to do school homework instead. Would my father have asked for my idea when facing a challenge – hell no! I am supposed to do some homework remember, not solve family problems. That’s how we grew up. That’s how I got so unconfident. I have lived in doubt all my life. Questioning my abilities has been a daily meal, clouding my confidence. I couldn’t innovate, I couldn’t initiate. At my current workplace – I would crosscheck things – even a simple email – three to four times before I hit send. I am always not sure if I sound ‘okay’.
Well, now I am here writing about my dream. It is because I do not want anybody else to be like me. I do not want you to doubt your abilities. I want you to embrace your capabilities and talents. Do not wait until you are 30. Start now. You can change the world with your ideas. It doesn’t have to be that perfect as many would perceive. Listen, I also want you to embrace your faults and mistakes. Learn from them, perfection is always boring. Become irresponsible once in a while so you learn a new thing. Try new things, ideas, and networks. Do not try to fill all your holes every time you do something, because just like me, you will never become confident. If you start now, you will keep feeling those holes slowly. By the time you are 36, you will have no doubt about what you can do whatsoever. At that age, you can confidently send an email without crosschecking if you sound ‘okay.
See, I have lived in doubt for so long because of how I grew up. Because of how our communities were set. If I had someone to guide me, I’d be the biggest DJ, the biggest storyteller, and the biggest media personality in the world. If I had the community that empowers my talents, my abilities and asks me for my ideas to solve our problems, my communities would have solved a lot of them by now. See how many young people like me out there who have similar stories of their growth? All of them. I waited until I am 24 to actually start doing something – when I finished my college. All of them waited, some for even longer, to become confident enough and start working on their ideas.
My dream is to see a world of confident young people, from when they can put together an idea to when they can actualize it and solve people’s problems. I dream of the world which has parents and adults encouraging talents and cultivates confidence in their youth. The world needs innovations. Youth are the biggest chunk of many countries’ populations. Confident youth can change the world. Confident youth are the future of humanity.
I am not confident, do not be like me.