I am currently working as a journalist at one of the radio stations in the capital of Tonga. I believe that I am the first-ever trans journalist in Tonga. But the important point is not about my differences. I do the same things every other journalist must do. Who will I support, and how will I support them? I will continue to stand up and use my voice to inform, educate, and entertain my people through love, truth, and peace.
As a child, I was really confused about myself. While I was raised as a boy, I was never interested in their toys and always wanted to play the girl roles. But beyond just confusion, I really struggled. My parents were reverends working at a church. Although I tried hard to play my part as a reverend’s son, it was difficult for me to become the person people expected, especially in our conservative culture. I repeatedly told myself that my parents must be suffering because of me. What am I worth? Should I go on with life as I am? Or should I be someone I am not? I asked myself these questions over and over. Eventually, my teachers in elementary school accepted me as a young transgender. I was a big fan of Britney Spears, and they let me get up and sing her songs for the whole class, which remains one of my best memories.
Although I was too young to accept myself at first, I managed to reach a stage where I finally understood who I was as a young trans. To be honest, I’m still stuck with the question “Why?” in my mind. There were days when I had suicidal thoughts, but when I imagined the sorrow the people who loved me would feel, I was able to stop myself from going any further.
And to truly be me, I joined a trans beauty pageant and was crowned Tonga’s Miss Galaxy Queen 2015. This was the result of a strong desire to give back to the trans community, not just to make a beauty statement. However, during my two years as queen, I was bullied on social media, criticized in person, and experienced a lot of hurtful things. Still, I have decided to walk through my life as me. As long as I can maintain a strong heart and support myself, I want to help young people move forward into a better future.
I am grateful for my parents who truly loved me, and my friends who are always there for me. They have always helped me walk through this tough life. Malo!
May this world become a place that is not full of hate and sadness, but of love, joy, and dreams. I am here today with tears of hope, encouraging you in.
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